Not at all! Does the troll have any interests and what is their personality like? These would be very helpful in helping us assist you in picking out a fetch modus.

-Phem

(Uhm, hi again…! This time I feel a little more confident for Mareth compared to the first time I submitted her… o vo)

Very nice picture! Oh cool, she as the same symbol as one of my fantrolls!

==> Enter name.

Your name is Mareth Tywyll.

You are an 8 SWEEP OLD SEADWELLING TROLL who lives in a HIVE in one of the DEEPEST TRENCHES of the ALTERNIAN SEAS. You possess blood of a RICH, COLD PURPLE therefore counting you as one of the HIGHBLOODS. The trench you live in also happens to be HOME to one of the LARGEST, MOST VISCIOUS GLUBBEASTS but she serves NO THREAT to you since she also happens to be your LUSUS.

When I first read this, I thought her lusus was going to be a horrorterror until I read further.

And about your lusus, she is a rather HIDEOUS GLUBBEAST of the DARK and as mentioned earlier, she is VISCIOUS. Like, really. You can’t deny that, nope! And you ADORE her for that. She LURES lost, unsuspecting victims into their UNTIMELY DEATH with the SAFETY of her light emanating from her esca and then comes one SWIFT CHOMP. This behavior of hers somewhat FREES you from some RESPONSIBILITIES that are present in some troll-lusus relationships and becomes a BASIS for one of the things you are interested in.

Interesting! I haven’t seen a troll that likes their vicious lusus.

You tend to be the PATIENT kind, not that you’re questioning the patience of other trolls, you’re just REALLY PATIENT since seeing as how your lusus would wait for FOREVER for her prey and much to your surprise she doesn’t seem to be BOTHERED by the WAITING. Not one bit. Which resulted into you kind of INCORPORATING that into your system while you were STILL YOUNG and it did give you the BEST rewards. However, this trait seems to FALTER along with your CALM COMPOSURE when you’re around trolls of the LOWER CASTE. Which leads us to discuss about your VIEWS ON THE HEMOSPECTRUM!

Change the “us” to “you” to keep the profile in second person POV.

Trolls placed LOWER into the hemospectrum aren’t whom you are VERY FOND OF as you tend to see them as WEAK. INCOMPETENT. That and also since most you’ve encountered don’t even RESPECT YOU for being someone of such nobility. They simply CAN’T. And they REALLY TICK YOU OFF. Just SLIGHTLY though. You can’t afford to completely FLIP YOUR SHIT OUT. Those who REGARD you HIGHLY are of course TOLERATED. Either way, there would come a time when you have to COMPLETELY DISREGARD all this because you will need them to TRUST YOU because…

I’m assuming she acts very understanding towards them as well. At least when her patience isn’t wavering.

… one of your INTERESTS include KILLING trolls before their culling drones even gets to them. The best way you could do that is by coming off as SOMEONE WHO CAN SAVE THEM and boy do their bodies make GREAT GIFTS for your lusus! Doesn’t this make her proud of you! Growing up to be like her and all! Except that you don’t really eat the trolls you kill, she can have them all to herself. You’re NOT a CANNIBAL. Who in the right mind would even eat a fellow troll anyway?

Considering what grubsauce is made out of, it’s not so far off that trolls would gladly eat each other. Well some of them anyway. Still, these interests are fitting for a seadweller.

Other than your interest in killing trolls, you also have a liking for LANTERNS since well, it’s not always easy to NAVIGATE yourself around your hive in all this darkness! Plus you think they’re pretty COOL to have around. And just recently, an interest for WAR GAMES. You just sort of like the idea of having to STRATEGIZE for the best way to reach your goals and without completely WIPING OUT your teammates. Sadly, you still aren’t very good on doing so since your gaming mentality is AFFECTED by your KILLING HABITS. Yes, you end up KILLING them instead. Your team WON’T SURVIVE with you around. EVER. This causes much HATRED from whoever you end up playing with. Though it doesn’t stop you from playing it! Well, with the hopes that you start to NOT kill them and actually start DOING what you’re supposed to in the first place!

Interesting!

You wield a SHORT, STABBING SPEAR for your STRIFE SPECIBUS and your FETCH MODUS involves striking the WEAK POINTS of the card. The bigger the stored item is, the more points you have to strike and it gets pretty difficult since it only flashes for a short while and you can’t always remember them all.

Now you just need a formal name for the fetch modus. Pressure Point sounds like it would fit, considering what she’s supposed to do to retrieve her items.

Your EMPTY QUADRANTS are starting to become a CONCERN for you! Or rather for your lusus. You quite think they’ll just COME ALONG eventually. It wouldn’t be too hard won’t it?

Your trolltag is perfidiouslyExtricated and you tend to 5peak w↑th an unexc↑ta6le, formal demeanor a5 to ↑nd↑cate your 5tatu5 ↑n 5oc↑ety 6ut ↑n 5ome occa5↑on5, you don’t alway5 5tay that way 5↑nce ↑t would 6e ea5↑er for troll5 to tru5t you! :)

I love that trolltag, nice pick for one! The quirk looks good too! I’m quite surprised she would use smileys, but there’s no problem with her using them.

Were you to PLAY a GAME that causes the DEVASTATION of your planet, to which you are obviously UNAWARE of, you would be assigned as the game’s SEER OF LIFE to reside in the LAND OF RIVERS and WARMTH.

Cute sprites!

(Other information:

Name:

Mareth derived from Marethyu [from a book series] one of its meanings being “death”; Tywyll meaning “dark” in Welsh; name could relate to how the prey of an angler fish is hunted: in the dark.

Interesting!

-

Mareth is lightly based on the Roman god Mars in relevance to her symbol!

-

Quirk:

↑ - Her strife specibus.

65 - A number associated to Mars.

All of this looks good!

-

Quadrants:

She does gain a moirail sometime soon… Her name is Nymphe Moinet! Although this troll is still in the making…

Okay, so you at least thought that out!

-

Uhm… I’m a little iffy about her trolltag, quirk and land… I will be open to your suggestions if you have!

This is all I have to offer… Thank you for giving your time! 8) )

The trolltag and quirk look great really, so I don’t see a need to change those! As for her land, you could make it the Land of Rivers and Light instead! When making a land, try taking symbolism of of your character into consideration. For example, Karkat’s land was the Land of Pulse and Haze. Pulse relates to blood because the heart is the organ that pumps it through the body (and when hearing or looking for a pulse it comes from the heart). As for Haze, Karkat felt that the land was taunting him at first, or as the wiki puts it, hazing him. That’s one way to think about it!

Overall, this troll looks great and I really like this one! You may want to elaborate on her hive (such as the shape of it and perhaps how clean it is). From here on out, just keep in mind how you shall develop her, especially for SGRUB. Thank you for submitting and have a great day!

-Phem

The submit box is not open yet.

-Phem

[Quick note; his jacket is Prospit-y because he gets the “You could change and become a good person, you know” thing a lot and it’s kind of on the edge. Even if Derse isn’t technically evil and Prospit isn’t technically good. I heard it was Thinkers vs. Creative? Not that he’s very creative… OH WELL, ONTO THE THING.]

He still shouldn’t have a Prospitian jacket. He is either completely Derse or completely Prospit, no mixing of the two outfits. Can’t say anything oh the “Thinkers vs. Creative” bit because I haven’t heard about that so I wouldn’t know.

Your name is LUKE SERRAPH. Two Rs, roll them. Rrrrr. You have a habit of not LIKING ANYTHING, especially people who CAN’T USE PROPER ENGLISH. You live in RELATIVE SOLITUDE for many reasons- you are HOMESCHOOLED and YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS FULL OF IDIOTS so the only place you tend to have conversations with is your COMPUTER. Your name on the popular chat site PESTERCHUM is fallenVirtue and your preferred web browser is TANTALUS, the icon of which is a GOLD FIGURE drooling and staring into its REFLECTION. You think it looks like an ARROGANT IDIOT, but you also think it’s PRETTY COOL. You’re not a COOLKID though; nor are you a HIPSTER. You do WHATEVER YOU WANT regardless of PEOPLE’S OPINIONS. Your BIG SISTER and MALE TUTOR however, tend to assume you’re INTENTIONALLY GOING AGAINST NORM as if you’re some REBELLIOUS BRAT. Those annoy you as much as EVERYONE ELSE, however.

His chumhandle and “typing style” goes at the very end of the profile (refer to the canon profiles). I can imagine he has disagreements with others fairly often.

You are RATHER tall for your age, which is FIFTEEN. Your HAIR is taller- or, lengthier- than usual too, which you keep in a PONYTAIL most of the time. Your SISTER teases you about it, but YOU PREFER IT LONG. You always wear a BLACK SATIN-LINED JACKET constantly, but somehow YOU USUALLY FEEL CHILLED. Underneath is a LONG-SLEEVED SHIRT that has a GOLDEN SNAKE on it, which you LIKE THE LOOK OF. The ends of the shirt have GOLD CUFFLINKS, which you REALLY AREN’T SURE WHAT ARE FOR. Other than LINKING CUFFS. You also wear DRESS PANTS and LONG LACED RIDING BOOTS, and you keep these on for GENERALLY EVERYTHING. You got all of these, as well as other RANDOM TRINKETS, from RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED ONLINE STORES.

Looks good so far.

The aforementioned TWO ADULTS in your life are the only people you really enjoy physically seeing- your parents are always off VACATIONING SOMEWHERE OBSCURE and having MUTUALLY UNKNOWN AFFAIRS with various people. You could CARE LESS about your dysfunctional family as long as YOU HAVE BASIC NEEDS, as you are CONTENTED with what you have. HAPPY is far from correct though, evident by your PERMANENT SCOWL. You had a PET a while ago, which died of NATURAL CAUSES. It was a DEFORMED BLACK YORKIE your sister jokingly named DOOM PUPPY, and it is likely rotting in some RANDOM JUNKYARD at this moment. You are NOT SURE why you brought this up, as- DESPITE what SIS assumes- HIS DEATH did not affect your LACKING LEVELS of JOY very much.

How many guardians does he have? He should only have one.

Your house is of the AVERAGE SIZE, though you have a STUPIDLY LARGE BACK YARD which is mostly taken up by a LARGE POOL. Pity you CAN’T SWIM as it might BE A GOOD TIME-WASTER.

Sounds good.

You have a thing for DARK COLORS and FORMALITY, though it is not really an INTEREST. You suppose you might have some MENTAL DISORDER THAT MAKES YOU VERY APATHETIC, but as with everything YOU DON’T CARE. YOU are simply YOU. And speaking of YOU, your SYLLADEX is known as SACRIFICE- where you must REPLACE any retrieved item with something, either by GETTING RID OF AN EQUAL ITEM YOU’RE CARRYING or SOMETHING ELSE like HEALTH, MONEY, or WHAT HAVE YOU. This freaks out THE ADULTS YOU KNOW more than anything else, though it’s not like you CUT YOURSELF for fun. You ONLY DO THAT OCCASIONALLY anyway, you prefer to CHEAT THE SYSTEM by finding USELESS JUNK that still COUNTS HIGHLY. FOR THIS REASON, you often carry a lot of TRASH like OLD SODA CANS or BETTY CROCKER WRAPPERS. Sis LOVES THAT STUFF, though again- YOU DON’T CARE. YOU WILL NEVER CARE.

Whoooooaaaaaaaaa, stop right there. Okay, there is a blaring problem with this.

DO NOT add mental disorders to your character unless you ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. By this I mean a ton of research and/or personal experience (like the creator actually has the ailment or knows someone very close to them who had it). When writing a mental disorder into a bio, that’s not really the way you want to write it. Here, just writing, “You care very little about the things around you” or “You are incredibly apathetic to your surroundings” is good because you’re not directly telling the audience that the character has one. Something like that should be divulged in a story and/or roleplay over time. Also, just blatantly saying that looks tacky. Here, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you leave the mental disorder out, especially if you’re just adding it to your character to seem “cool, dark, and edgy” or to give them a plot point (which is what it feels like here).

As for that fetch modus…I know the theme you are going for, but I really advise against using a fetch modus in which you have to harm yourself in order to get the item. I really suggest trying something else.

You suppose that fact makes you rather BORING, so you tend to TRY LOTS OF THINGS to see if you might BE INTERESTED. Well, THOSE ADULTS make you try them, anyway.

There are only TWO PEOPLE you talk to online- they KNOW LITTLE ABOUT ANY OF THIS, so they give you LITTLE TO NO HASSLE about it. Their names are MAXY ANDRON and CASS MARKERS, and they do JUST AS MUCH to try to GET YOU INTO STUPID THINGS. They often make you ROLEPLAY ADVENTURES and have you WASTE YOUR MONEY on random things like NEW VIDEO GAMES. The only thing you WILLINGLY WASTEMONEYONis LOTS OF STRIFE DECKS. You have AT LEAST TEN, though ONLY ONE IS ACTIVE, a LighterKind, and only A FEW STILL WORK. Doom Puppy liked DESTROYING THEM in ANY WAY POSSIBLE, and seemed to think THEY WERE BETTER THAN TOYS. You suppose YOU THINK THAT TOO, since you BUY THEM instead of something MORE YOUR AGE, like STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE ART PROGRAMS or BUILD-YOUR-OWN KITS. THOSE BORE YOU. Just like EVERYTHING ELSE.

Hmmm…

You type in incredibly proper English, though sometimes you emphasIs words that are spelled oddly or not PHOnetiCAlly so that your less intellIgent friends can learn how to say and write them correctly, and not otherwise even if you should to get your point across. Sort of like Dictionary entries. You also take a long time to post, because you would never want to make a typo on anything, so sometimes you just drop the issue and use normal text like a normal person.

This like the chumhandle should be at the end. The length of the quirk description should be shorter though. Also, you may just want to go with the last sentence as his typing style.

Boy, it’s PRETTY COLD IN HERE. It always seems PRETTY COLD IN HERE. Maybe you should go SIT BY THE FIRE for a FEW HOURS or SOMETHING. FIRE is PRETTY NICE. That REMINDS YOU, you tend to SET RANDOM THINGS on FIRE for the HELL OF IT. Nothing VALUABLE- more than anything, those UNUSABLE STRIFE CARDS. You don’t want your SISTER to get you a THERAPIST again, AFTER ALL.

Why doesn’t he want her to get him a therapist?

[bluh bluh grumpy douchebag bluh. Here’s my character! He’s supposed to be sort of a Satanist- he’s the Prince of Light and based vaguely on the “evil” Christianity characters like THE DEVIL *lightning flash*. I’m not Christian myself, but I hope this isn’t offensive- he’s just meant to stereotype the opposite of the “wholesome family values” type. He’s not gonna have a 7 sins motif though, even if that would be awesome I’m too lazy/sloth-y to do it. Look at me, I’m funny. His theme is more about temptation and he’s definitely going to grow the most of any of my characters, maybe into someone who can do actual facial expressions! Luke is a reference to Lucifer [which means “light” oddly enough!]

Satanist…? Anyway, saying that “you hope this isn’t offensive” might possibly mean this may be offensive to someone, especially if it is portrayed in a certain way. Also, if you want to make an opposite of “wholesome family values” you don’t need to take a route like that. Just not having his parents around and the lack of a feeling of a tight-knit family is enough to simulate this.

and Serraph is Hebrew for burning I think? I forget exactly but it made a lot of sense at the time. Oh, and because of all those strife cards he’s going to never have more than one in each kind, so it’d sorta be like having jokerKind? Either way it’s a lot less overpowered than it sounds in my head, but maybe I still need to tone it down, I’m not sure. I’m also not sure if he’d somehow end up prototyping DOOM PUPPY or not- btw, “deformed” is referring to the scrunched up face all Yorkies have, and maybe it only had three legs or something, I just wanted one more reference to how he’s not too attached to anything even if they’re as cute and saddening as little dead puppies. Also for the billionth time, do you think his somewhat troll-ish quirk is weird? What could I improve? Thanks for your time!]

JokerKind seems to let the user be able to use more than one weapon and use them well. Anyway, a fancharacter really shouldn’t be able to use more than two strife specibi efficiently without a good reason. Two is a reasonable number. I know Dirk has three, but he really mains with two max as Fancysantakind is only for “shits and giggles” according to him. As for “doom puppry”, that seems more like disabled than deformed to me, but that’s a minor nitpick.

[Also, here! Have an extra random pic. I drew it since, because of his temptation thing, the apple from that one story in the Bible with the snake- yes that’s what his shirt is for- seemed perfect and then I realized it was taken because John had that little loss of innocence symbolism and I had a Karkat moment and was all FUUUUUCK. Now it’s a halo he snaps in half to symbolize abandonment of goodness or something. And he gets to go like in either The Land of Heat and Glow/gLow or some mess-up of it, like Nepeta getting LOLCAT, so I can spell Hell and hammer in that “lol satan” thing a little more. His cohorts are black hounds with varying numbers of heads- no actual relation to the big three-headed pooch because that’s apparently related to Echidna and I don’t want to bring up canon browsers/denizens. But speaking of which, here’s his!]

I don’t think his consorts should vary in heads, considering all of the other consorts have the same appearance in their species with nothing really changing. The land of Heat and Glow sounds nice. Lastly, I hope he doesn’t have any connections to canon characters.

[Again, thank you!]

Okay…The problem I’m seeing with this character is with the way everything mixes together, it feels like you tried a bit too hard to make him “cool and edgy”, as much as I dislike saying that about others because sometimes that’s not the case at all. The religious themes you also put on him feel heavy-handed and it looks like he’s dominated more by his theme than anything else. It’s fine for a character to have an overall theme, but they should never be cornered by it.

It is also fine to have a grumpy character who is rebellious so long as you play it off well (Persona 4’s Kanji Tatsumi is a good example of this). You may want to go back to the drawing board for this one and think of a new theme, or lift the theme off of the a bit character and add more interests to round him out. Maybe talk more about how he feels about having no parental guidance and being stuck with two other adults. Perhaps he could be the leader of a gang (or part of one), or just a delinquent at school, his living situation spurring him on. Maybe a character who is perceived as a delinquent but they always end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets into trouble this way. In reality, the character could be a good student and person, but is just one really unlucky kid. These are just ideas, you do not have to take them by any means. Thank you for submitting and have a great day!

-Phem

Switch the colors of his hoodie. When I first saw it I thought he was supposed to be a blackblooded troll until I realized he’s a rustblood. Standard troll attire is a black top with a symbol in their blood color printed on it, big so it’s easy to see.

NAME ==> Dødlig Raseri

I think you should take that slashed “o” out of his name and replace it with a regular “o’ because I don’t think they would have letters like slashed “o”s and double dotted “e”s in the Alternian language. That’s just me though.

RACE ==> Troll

GENDER ==> Male

AGE ==> 8 sweeps.

COLOR ==> #661001

SIGN ==> Nordic Rune Kenaz, meaning torch.

HOME ==> In a metal safety bunker in the mountains, where he blows out caves and mines for sulpher, coal, etc. to make more black powder/gunpowder to make more explosives?

Only thing here is does he bother any trolls around him or make so much noise that he brings attention to himself? Otherwise, I think this is fine.

GUARDIANS/LUSUS ==>  Badgerdad.

Darn it, now you got that badger song stuck in my head!

ANCESTOR ==> The Restless. ( ART W I P )

INTERESTS ==> Explosives, Taking apart stuff, fire, mining, burning things, anything that causes destruction.

CHUMHANDLE ==> explosivePyrotechnician

Nice trolltag!

QUIRK ==> No caps, no punctuation, replaces ‘o’s with ‘ø’s and ‘c’s with ‘¢’s.
All emoticons have angry eyebrows. When annoyed or angered ALL CAPS.

Sounds okay to me. If you want to add a tiny bit more, you can put a pickaxe ( ==== )) ) at the beginning or end of his sentences.

STRIFE SPECIBUS ==> explosiveskind, pickaxekind.

Which is his main specibus?

SPECIBUS COMBOS ==> Rusted pickaxe + Firecrackers = DYNAMITE PICKAXE.

FETCH MODUS ==> I can just stick with the Array modus right? Dodlig doesn’t like over complicated things.

Sure, if he wants the array modus, I don’t see why he can’t have it.

COMPUTER MODS ==> Matchbox Cellular Device. ( An iPhone that doubles as a box of matches. )

KERNELSPRITE PROTOTYPES ==> Badgersprite.

(Dreamer) DERSE OR PROSPIT ==> Derse Dreamer

TITLE ==> Knight of Death

ABILITIES ==> I’d assume being a Knight of Death would just mean he’s a tough opponent, right?

Weeell…It would be a bit more than that more than likely. Let’s take a look at narcolepticbeanie’s post about the fan aspects he made (one of which is Death):

The design is 100% the polar opposite to life. It’s dark brown and a dead root. Har har. A hero of death would more than likely be able to know when it’s someone’s time and have the ability to be there when it happens, possibly to help. They wouldn’t know how. But they are aware when death is nearing.

MEDIUM ==> Land of Dynamite and Shadows

CRUXITE ARTIFACT ==> Can his cruxite artifact be just a grenade or something? And he just has to pull the pin to enter The Medium?

I don’t see why not! It could say he’s going out with a bang!

TOTEM CREATURE ==> Wasps.

DENIZEN ==> Hydra.

So what do you think? Good fantroll right?
Anything I could edit to make him better?

Most of his information seems to be down. Now you need to give him a personality because you didn’t describe one here. What’s he like when socializing with others? Energetic, grumpy, a hard-ass, etc.? What is his relationship with his lusus like? I can’t imagine it’s a cuddly one considering what type of animal his lusus is. Talk about his quadrants and if he has none filled, then how he feels about romance. You can even go as far to talk about a day in his life if that helps you! Lastly, eventually you may want to write a homestuck-style profile for him. Thank you for submitting and have a great day!

-Phem

http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg575/wwhales/venusa.png

The sprite looks pretty good. The first thing you should do is take the color away from her irises. I don’t think seven sweeps is old enough for that yet. If you really want to keep the color, bumping her up to eight sweeps should remedy the problem. Bring her eyes down some and move her mouth over to the right more. Is there any particular reason why the line for the mouth is the same as her blood color? Under normal circumstances, it should be black. If you’re trying to show she’s wearing lipstick, then her lips should be wider, much like Kanaya, Vriska, and Aradia’s lips.

=>Be the hopeless romantic.

You are now the hopeless romantic, but you would rather be called VENUSA AMOREA. That is your name, after all.

You might want to mix up the letters in her name a bit more to make the name seem more strange sounding. You don’t have to though.

You are SEVEN SWEEPS OLD. You have TEAL BLOOD, putting you around the middle in the HEMOSPECTRUM. You live in a TWO-STORY HIVE placed near the beach. You chose this location so you could visit your MOIRAIL, REQUIN SANGER. He’s kind of an ODD TROLL, and a handful of a moirail. You’re not quite sure about your feelings for him. Honestly, he’s starting to SCARE YOU. As a highblood and a SEADWELLER, he’s LESS STABLE than other trolls, but you’re beginning to feel like you should GET AWAY FROM HIM before he causes ANY HARM TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. It makes you feel SELFISH, like you’re a BAD MOIRAIL that can’t handle the relationship.

You don’t want to talk about it.

Greenbloods are considered to be middle class. Teal is the beginning of the high class rung. But the rest of this is good!

But in most cases, you love to TALK ABOUT ROMANCE. Most of your conversations will usually include DEBATES ABOUT THE WELL-BEING OF ROMANCES featured in TROLL SOAP OPERAS. You really, really love TROLL SOAP OPERAS. You like to CREATE THEORIES about what will happen in the newest episodes. Your lusus says you’re OBSESSED. Maybe. You say you’re just REALLY DEDICATED.

Heh, I imagine her friends want to sew her lips shut sometimes for going on and on about them.

Of course, MATESPRITSHIP is not the only quadrant you care about. You also enjoy reading EDGY BLACKROM NOVELS. These novels have led you to believe in a ROMANTICIZED, UNREALISTIC PORTRAYAL OF BLACKROM, so your ideas about black romance are often INACCURATE.

Oh dear, that could get rather messy!

Your dream and LIFELONG DESIRE is to become a TROLL SOAP OPERA STAR. Nothing will convince you to ever do anything else. It is your DESTINY.

Your lusus was not terribly impressed at YOUR CHOICE OF DESTINY, but soon GOT OVER IT WHEN YOU WOULDN’T SHUT UP. Your lusus is a SWAN, and you have admired her GRACE AND BEAUTY ever since you were a little wiggler. You try to EMULATE HER in your actions and mannerisms. Your only problem with her is that she can be a LITTLE OVERPROTECTIVE. She CONSTANTLY MONITORS what you watch and do, and is certain that EVERYONE ON TROLLIAN WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU. You use Trollian anyway.

Good!

Your SBURB ROLE is the SEER OF HEART, and your planet is the LAND OF RHYTHM AND WARMTH.

I like her land! It sounds very…HEARTWARMING. Okay, that was terrible and I am sorry your review had to suffer such a thing. But seriously, I like the sound of her land.

You have allocated your STRIFE SPECIBUS with BOWKIND. Your trollTag is chimericalStarlet, and you like to put lo<3 in e<3ry word you say!

(NOTE: She always replaces v with <, but only uses 3 when its directly next to a <. But I feel like <3 quirks are overused, so if you could suggest something else that would be really great!)

Split up the strife specibus from the trolltag and quirk. Nice trolltag choice! As for the quirk, I really suggest against using hearts in your quirk, so drop the 3. Maybe you could use something like cupid’s arrow, encasing her words in one and making sure they receive your love?

“>——-and you like to put lo<e in e<ery word you say!——->”

You may want to spice it up a bit more than that though. Maybe make her seem over dramatic in her speech much like soap opera stars by adding more end of the sentence punctuation (?,.,!)? Sorry I couldn’t have been of more help.

Venusa could use some more development. One can get an idea of her interests and her standing with her moirail and lusus, but not her personality. What is she like? Sweet, cowardly, an ass, a perfectionist, etc. (of course, pick more than one trait)? Swans are known to vicious as times, so delving into that may be a good idea. Is her lusus ever vicious towards her? Give her a few more interests to round her out. Maybe talk about her favorite soap opera as well! Do her friends get annoyed with her often? She’s also missing a fetch modus, which wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to have. Also perhaps explain why she picked a bow and arrow as her strife specibus, or describe how she uses it and her skill level with it. Keep working on her! Thank you for submitting and have a great day!

-Phem

That’s an good idea! Thanks anon!

-Phem

What are her interests? Her strife specibus? Symbol? Depending on the strife specibus and/or symbol, you may be able to encapsulate her words or use a representation of her symbol or strife specibus in the beginning or send of her sentences. Usually the trolltag is based on a troll’s interests, personality, and theme.

That said, I would need to know her interests at least to think of a trolltag.

-Phem

While that is a good point, there are quite a few fans out there who make their sessions and characters exist on the same timeline as the canon twelve, but change who got the game first and who entered. Some who do go with AUs still follow most if not all of the rules the Beta Alternian timeline provides.

-Phem

That is why I said “at the moment” and “may have”, because I’m not saying anything is set in stone and am still giving leeway to the idea that UU and uu may be on an Alternian timeline that isn’t heavily paralleled by the Beta Alternia timeline as the comic may or may not debunk this sometime soon.

-Phem

I actually don’t see any problem with people holding canon titles. There’s no need to be picky over it.

It’s not like they’re going to be in the same session, right? And there are only so many titles you can use.

If it fits, why change it?

- Mod A

To add, this is the reason why didn’t say anything about Paradi’s title. If they are in a different session from the canon characters, then all of the titles the canon characters had are technically free, because they can’t hold those spots anymore. They don’t exist in the fansession/fanadventure.

-Phem

But on this page, it shows two different shades of green, not one. And one of the shades is lighter. At the moment, this gives merit to the fact that limebloods may have had the same role on Beta Alternia.

-Phem